Thursday, September 30, 2010

Raptor Propaganda

This is the face of the enemy ladies and gentlemen.

In my time there has been no greater threat to the continuation of the human species than this evil-incarnated, virtual, raptor propaganda device. This green raptor spews more child-friendly lies than Spongebob spreads liberal agendas. He trots around the "Mushroom Kingdom" constantly repeating his name so those who witness his atrocities never forget. He is the single most perfect example of raptor acceptance in this world that must stop if we are to win the growing species war.

For you see he does not effect us in the way most raptors do, but instead pollutes the minds of our children and misguided Nintendo fans with the ideas that raptors are just cute animals that we could domesticate. While we should embrace the idea that raptors can be controlled and owned, we must also remember how dangerous they are to the security of our evolutionary line.

Raptors must be criminalized and hated such as we have done with the nazis. We must revile them and absolutely abhor their very existence. We must rise up and cast aside the idea that those green monsters can be our friends or even just coexist with them. We must rip down all raptor propaganda, such as this thing, and present our new form of truth. We must rise up and say no more to their treatment with anything less than sudden death. We must realize the threat and make sure all know of the evil that looms behind the great wall of lies.

So remove the mario roms from your emulators, cast aside your cartridges, and delete all your Mario Kart data on that cursed DS. Instead place in a copy of Jurassic Park and see what Yoshi looks like without the filter.

Saturday, September 25, 2010


Thursday, September 23, 2010

Flight of the Raptors

I do not believe that velociraptors had feathers. There...I said it. The reason for this is that they do not look like the type of creature that would evolve colored decorations as a biological advantage. What creature would even need to grow a rainbow body coloration in a dense, bland, and unexciting environment. There are some, the Homoceratops, might find that in evolution it prefers this kind of thing, but raptors are not one of them. In my opinion, I think the raptors themselves started this rumor to when the other mammals realized they could climb something (As shown in the documentary: The Lost World) and get away from the raptors without harm. This cause the raptors to make the other creatures think they could fly so they wouldn't try that shit. So far it has worked, as modern "scientists" insist they have feathers.

Of course these same people insist that raptors are extinct and pose no threat on humanity. I tried to warn them of the growing threat, but the restraining order has covered the light I was trying to use to illuminate them.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

A note from the Author

Recently I have been gaining a larger reader base and want to thank everyone that has been reading and commenting on my blog. It is an odd assortment of anything I find on the internet and do my best to entertain and excite. I want to remind everyone that everyone has a sponsor (even politicians) and mine are right on the side.


The more support I gain the higher I shall update and bring to this blog. So view, comment, and most importantly look at my great sponsors and see what they have to offer you. (I get money as a bonus!)

Otherwise, look forward to my next post probably involving raptors or other things that threaten our daily lives. (Probably bullshit I pull on the spot.)

So thank you and enjoy.


I was in playing Metroid other M on my Mac off a second partition running windows 7 running off that a wii emulator (Dolphin) using a ps3 controller to play.

The future is here and now you can take part in this exciting deal!

Go to:

Rip your LEGAL COPIES OF A GAME (or piratebay) and play them on your rig just as I have. This isn't new news or anything, but I just fix it all up and soon going to build a custom sensor to use my wiimotes as a mouse. That's just badass.

In other news:

This is a caterpillar.

Monday, September 20, 2010


Raptor Jesus

I feel like I both enjoy the fact that raptors are mocked by being photoshopped onto Jesus. Or is that the other way around? Either way raptors are getting more attention in the media outlet that is 4chan and all the filth that comes out of it. (Kittens!) But is this positive media attention really a good thing? In some ways are raptors not getting a better light shined on them from a lot of this? How can we treat such evil with a smile and a fancy hat photoshopped on said evil? Maybe I'm the only one that finds this a tad odd, but who knows. Maybe all this attention will finally bring them out of hiding. I find comfort in the fact that at least Raptor Jesus is not like Sobek as he came after the creation of raptors because we all know the crocodile was invented by Sobek so the Egyptians wouldn't call him out on his shit.