Monday, August 31, 2009


This article states everything wrong with the social concept of what a raptor is. Jurassic Park is to blame, but it still has a saving point of laying down the fundamentals of survival against these beasts.

"The raptors in the novel, following through to the film raptors, were larger than the species going by the name because during the writing of the novel, a previously discovered dinosaur named Deinonychus (closely related to Velociraptor, but larger) was interpreted as a Velociraptor species by some scientists, notably Gregory S. Paul.[1] In fact, in the novel, Deinonychus is mentioned, but the character Alan Grant then says that scientists have reclassified it as a species of Velociraptor. Crichton wrote his novel based on the idea of a human sized raptor, but after the publication, when the film was already in production, the idea of Deinonychus being a Velociraptor species was dropped by the scientific community.

During the film's production, the effects supervisors acknowledged that the Velociraptor featured in the movie were sized identically to the larger Deinonychus. However, during filming, paleontologists came across a larger dromaeosaurid species named Utahraptor and the larger raptors remained, even though Utahraptor was substantially larger (21 feet long) than the film's raptors. It should be noted, also, that at the start of the film, a Velociraptor skeleton is uncovered in Montana; no examples of the dinosaur have been uncovered in the United States (although both Deinonychus and Utahraptor are American dinosaurs). The fossil skeleton is similarly inaccurately large. It is possible that the Velociraptors in the film are re-classified Deinonychus, though in the book they are said to be Velociraptor mongoliensis.

The high intelligence of the film's velociraptors are considered somewhat unlikely by scientists, given the relative size of their brains and comparisons with modern animals.[2]

It is certain that Velociraptor had feathers.[3] Neither the film nor the novel dinosaurs had feathers; however, both were created before the discovery of feathered dinosaurs closely related to Velociraptor (e.g. Microraptor).[4][5] In Jurassic Park III, the raptors were remodelled and small feathers on the males' heads were included, while still looking similar to the original design.

As with other bipedal dinosaurs in the films, the hands of Velociraptor are depicted with the palms able to rotate, but this would have been anatomically impossible for the real animals, as their forearm bones (ulna and radius) could not rotate in this way. Their palms should have been relatively fixed facing each other, like a person about to applaud."

Friday, August 28, 2009

My Views

These are just a few examples of how politics are going to kill us all.

Anti-Abortion: This one is self explanatory. I'll explain it anyway for those republicans out there that don't understand what abortions are for. Say a raptor and a women (unknowing) have...relations (keeping this a fucking clean site) ... and have a baby raptor-human hybrid. Get even one of those and we are dead for. Even at birth those things can kill an entire cargo-ship of nothing but angry communists. So what do we do? KILL IT AT THE SOURCE.

Gun Control: No. I can't say this enough. If I had all the time in the world I have wasted explaining things to women. Local gang thugs aren't the problem with their tec-9s and aks! They will just kill each other anyway and solve that problem for us. What happens when the hippies get smart and go into the woods (any woods) and strap bullet-proof vests on bears. Then you have invincible bears! Gun control takes my bullet penetrating bullets and then what? Pepper spray won't save you. And don't get me started on the polar bear issue.

Civil Service: We spend too much. Why pay for things like orphanages? I say we burn down all the orphanages in this great country and give the money directly to things that matter. I mean, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

The list goes on people!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Achievement - Make a Blag!

When did games stop being played for fun and start being played for points? Remember a time when we would use cheats in gta or play Tomb Raider 2 on easy just for kicks? In today's world games have some sort of achievement system to measure your e-peen size and make people start to compare their points to yours and consider you a gamer based on your score.

Achivments make cheating seem like a punishment and easy mode no longer seems like a fun experience. Games are starting to force us to play games on the hardest difficulty with set perimeters to get more points then your friends.

People like me that play game and don't worry about achievements are condemned as lower form of gamer as points are compared. Why can't we just use achievements as bragging rights without the whole point system involved to make people compete.

I am tired of these systems making the "hardcore" players always bragging about their points or trophy count. But if people find achievement hunting fun, then all the power to them. Just stop treating people like me as a lower form of gamer just because we don't care about achievements.

I bet raptors compete for achievement points...

Monday, August 24, 2009

Are Raptors Communist?

Now hear me out children.

We all know that raptors are a neutral party that are only involved in their benefit. Obviously. We also all know they are currently in a contract with the polar bears. But what if I were to tell you that's why they are communist?

Back in WW2, the Russian's really wanted to get back at Hitler for his crimes against the motherland. In their infinite power, they created a hybrid version of bear cavalry that they had in use at the time. This model though ... used polar bears.

I know! I know!

Most don't know about this, but those polar bears (after doing horrible thing to Hitler) later went on to help the normal polar bears with their plans of world conquest.

Now could a long string of contracts and negotiations put raptors on equal grounds with the reds? Could raptors secretly be acting like communists to further their support to help them with god knows what?

More information as I uncover the truth.....

Do Raptors Fear the Unknown?

Raptors are a evil thing, but do they fear that they don't understand?

Take the scene in Jurassic Park where they killed the hunter. They hid in the bushes until he was in a range that the raptors seemed to take as "uncomfortable", at which point they ripped his throat out. Or some other appendage. Not that it....anyway.

My point is that can we use this fear of the unknown against them? Can we wield the power of astrophysics and astronomical travel against them?!

Nasa, get on this.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Raptors Invade my Dreams

Could they have a secret dream machine?

It started like any other dream: I was hanging with a bunch of friends and hitting on some hot chicks for sport, when raptors busted out of the bushes and started hunting me. No problem right? No, this was a nightmare so for an unearthly reason I didn't have my raptor hunting gear on me.

This is Nevada of course, so I quickly descended into a mine-shaft. What I found was more raptors and a never-ending maze of tunnels and raptors. Suffice to say, I woke up screaming after one raptor jumped on me and ripped my throat out.

Could this be a warning? An oman?

I am never going in a mine again....

Thursday, August 20, 2009

No More Fatty Princess

Seriously, nothing I would tap. THE game "fat princess" on the other-hand is a remarkable experience non-like it before. It also has a British guy using words like "gank". This is my review of the fattest princess since Final Fat-assy.

The actual game is played from a top-down prospective at a slight angle as you move your little avatar around to kill those who stole your beautiful princess and had the nerve to feed her the most delicious cake in the land. As the name implies, feeding your captured princess delicious cake makes her fat, but honestly who doesn't get fat on cake?

The game centers around a constant struggle to reclaim your now-fattened princess and keep the rivals princess so that when the prince of a gigantic tract of land comes, he will only have the option to marry your princess. Same old love story we have been feed a thousand times.

Now what is innovative about the game is the actual game play. You have the option of 6 classes (villager, worker, warrior, mage, preist, and ranger) that all play differently. You can swap classes easily in game by picking up a hat in-game from a hat vending machine or your opponents fallen hat. I wanted a millionaire playboy hat, but alas life isn't centered on a hat bias job environment.

The combat is hack-n-slash with a paranoia system built in. See, the game likes to add in different ways to get around the world that usually involve me cowering behind a captured fortress, waiting for the enemy to drop right on-top of me.

Gore, glorious gore!

Each class has an upgraded version that can be unlock as workers harvest wood and stone to upgrade hat vending machines, siege weapons, and a giant spring-board. Why didn't the Greeks think of that at troy? Forget some giant horse that only houses a few men, just launch your entire army over!

I digress, the worker is by far my favorite class. You just spend the entire game running from tree to ore, harvesting materials, and building upgrades and defensive equipment. The points match wonderfully, so a good worker (me) can rank as high as a warrior deep in combat. A points system obviously decides ranking and leader boards makes you want to be the best little princess feeder you can be!

Did i mention it supports trophies and unlockable features to customize you avatars look? A very sleek system that premises more options in later DLC, which was also promises as a huge support. If sony does one thing right, it is dlc. Look at cross-edge! That game has more dlc then a raptor has hatred for me.

"Help! We are being ganked!"

All in all, the game is currently suffering from post-release server stress. The kind that killed Socom:Confrontation. Otherwise, it is a bargain at 15$ with full online support and the large promises of massive amounts of dlc to keep it fresh. The core game ships with a few maps, 6 classes, 32-player online support, single-player, trophies, leader boards, and fat princess.

Right now it is a gem of potential that i will be enjoying for a long time, but later patches and dlc will really make Fat Princess shine.

I give it 7/10 delicious cakes.

Am I a great person or the greatest person?

I just bought new frames today for my glasses that are replicated ones of Malcolm's from Jurassic Park. That's right, just another way I will eventually merge with my hero. Is that creepy? Yes. Do I look good in them? Yes.

The purpose of this blag post is not to brag (I don't need to) but to explain a odd dream I had last night.

Basically, the zombie apocalypse happened and everyone was eaten. Then it turns out the zombies think like "normal" humans and they only difference is they were immortal undead that craved human flesh. Then I realized I stopped being a zombie and somehow created a cure by filtering the blood through my mecha-heart (I actually have one). Then feral zombies (homeless people) tried to eat me. Then I got free and joined a zombie colony. Then they treated my like a freak. Then I woke up.

The ending was almost (sorta) like the ending of I Am Legend. By being the last of me kind I realized I was the monster to everyone else.

It was quite a fun dream.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Jurrasic Park Club

I have an idea....

Now I know what you are thinking America. Mostly due to my hobby of wire-tapping, but that's more recreational. I have an idea about a new night-club of sorts. On the outside it would be replicated to look like the main complex of Jurassic Park (from the movie, not the actual park) and the inside would be a swinging nightclub.

Now how do those mix? We all know raptors are attracted to shinny objects and lights. So imagine a raptor wandering into a building full of flashing lights and glow-sticks. They would be stuck in a mesmerized state of incompetence. And when they are swaying back and forth, unable to help themselves? Bam, stab them in the neck.

It would be the largest raptor trap known to man. Well....except for the Boston Tea Party....long story.

Anyway, what would be better then a building full of LSD and techno? One filled with dead raptors. Dead raptors make everything better.

Better then that? Just knock them out and use them as ammo for a metal trebuchet.

Why? Zombie apocalypse. Just start launching raptors at the zombies. Best anti-flesh-eaters weapon ever imagined. Down side? Reloading.

People, we need to start investing in this. So hope to it and e-mail me your Swiss bank account numbers.

Monday, August 17, 2009

MAG IS Produced by Raptors!

I know! The greatest online game to grace the ps3 is run by those that try to maul us all? How could this be! Raptors don't have a keen sense of online gaming! But it's very true.....

I first caught whiff of their treachery when they announced 2010 as the release year. How could normal humans keep us without 256 online competition over the Christmas season? That's like saying Jesus delayed his crucifixion till "he felt like it".

Now comes the point of my huge uncovering and realisation! The point where I, a sexy gamer with millions of women swooning over him and a modest attitude, was denied a MAG beta code!

What scam is this! Only one kind....


Only raptors could be behind such a hateful act. I signed up to the psn with all my boxes checked for 3rd party offers. I signed up to the forums and at multiple time stated my interest. I work at gamestop (just one) and have sold countless pre-orders to the public after a long argument about why they should just end their lives on the spot if they are so stupid to not get such a fantastic game.

Till now....

That's right! I am going on strike till those raptors fork over my well deserved beta code so I can make MAG the greatest, and bug-free, game ever. After so many betas I know how to test the hell out of games.

So until my electronic letter box holds a key to that beta, I am protesting MAG and not selling a single pre-order till then! Take that, giant raptor owned corporation!

Not giant raptors....just a giant comp....oh god I think I just found a new fear......

Take that, History!

The greatest concept for a game has not only been created, but has snuck up on me like a green raptor in a field of unbelievably tall grass. What game is that you ask? The game that gives you a high-powered assault rifle from the future and then kicks you into the past. Sure, it has been done with time-splitters, but that was just cartoony. This game will give me the gore and horror of the civil war, without the slow loading muskets and horrible diseases. I'll be able to look history in the face and then spit on her. Just like I did to mother nature! Who says atomic waste can't be thrown away properly? Give me a shovel and a forest, then lets see who's right.
Link to the best review you'll read.

Fear Incites Video Games

Ok, ok....ok. What the crap people?

We all know Raptors created the swine flu pandemic to divert our attention! Why do we have to make video-games about it and just give in the raptors?!

Play at your own risk. I hear if you lose, men in white coats come and inject you with the H1N1 virus.

War Statisitics

I always loved this and wanted to post this to blow your (the reader's) mind!

Death Count during WW2:

Hiroshima= 71, 379

Tokyo Raid= 83, 793

Dresden Fire Bomb Raid= 135,000

Are atomic weapons the worst thing imaginable? These statistics say no, but current advances in atomic weapons development probably will destroy those numbers when used.

Now look at this:

Reported Raptor Raids: 235, 000 counted deaths

During WW2! That's counted people! We all know raptors are extremely smart and cunning....I wouldn't hold it against them if they influenced any of the raids posted above.....

Did you know that half of the Rough Riders were raptors? Roosevelt even knew this, but their combat efficiency was unmatched and he needed "people" that could help with his bloody conquests.

Think about it......

Introduction to a Disturbed World

Hello sunshine! The earth says hello! Let me introduce myself, I am your local lithian lord with the label of "Alex" and this is my blag. I am here to spread my ideals and knowledge to the world (not china) in hopes of a better tomorrow. I shall fill these infinite pages with infinite rants of infinite codes of binary for your enjoyment. I am like a comedian, I sit here going on for however long I please, but if you say one word you get kicked the hell out. (not really, feel free to comment).

Now as the title describes, I am against raptors (not the team). If there are any raptors reading this, it is nothing personal. I am not a racist by any means (just learn our language) as I have a very good friend that is a raptor. Sure, I didn't know at of lizardmen and extreme knowledge of raptors should have been a dead giveaway...but in the end I saw through her scheme. The nay-saying of all my ideas was a major giveaway.

But please know this raptors, I'm going to kill you all sorts of dead. Now I am no civil servant...I am just a blogger. So I am free to do as I please. Sure, we could have been friends, but the mauling really killed the bond. I guess there are worse things, but mauled to death is still extremely low on my list. Plus you are working with polar bears....but that's for another blog.

"Talking to a mute is like playing 20-question without an answer at the end."

I'll add more as things pop into my head, but for now just sit back and let that knowledge soak-in.